Sorry bout last journal! I have been very stressed i hope no one took it to heart! Keep me in your prayers !

Unnnggh..... The last few years have been really hard on my family. For the last 5 Christmases we have not been able to buy gifts. Its the same this year. It just seems like everything is going wrong. We keep praying and praying but we get no anserw. I do not understand why God has given up on us. Our niegbors are all doing well and have good stuff and treat us really bad.
Our house is falling apart and we can not afford to fix it. Our dryer doesnt work, we cant pay to have it fixed. Our front door feel off we can not pay to have that fixed. My grandma spent the last of her life savings to try to help us out. We wont be able to even afford our taxes next year (she payed them for this year). I do not know whats going to happen we will have to try to sell our house I guess. I feel that things are getting really hopeless. I feel like giving up. It feels like i am constantly being crushed!
I feel like I am cursed! I feel that God hates me and lets terrible things happen to me and doesnt give a damn!
I keep praying for christian friends and i never get any! One girl acted all nice to me but when i asked her to hang out she gave me a discusted look! I M SO F*CKIN SICK OF MY LIFE!

DO NOT SEND ME THINGS THAT SAY THAT I NEED TO REPENT OF SINS I FRIKIN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A BS BELIFE THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!

my friend from Akron said this about my post about the church in akron

I've known that for years about Campus Focus. I got the vibe that 80% of the people there were either just trying to get a date, become popular, or just be in a clique. I'm glad I'm not the only one to think that.
December 11 at 9:17am ·

Official Grades
(from the Univeristy of Akron)

Class Description Units Grading Grade Grade Points
3400 335 Russia to 1801 3.00 ABC/NC Grading B
3500 101 Beg: Modern Language I 4.00 ABC/NC Grading B

THats how our report card look at our school. Pretty Basic! It gives the courst #, title of class, credit hous, and what grades we got.

* I cant belive I got a B in Chinese! OMG i worked so hard in that class, and it was so hard. I studied alot! I was so afriad i was going to get a d in it! OMG im so happy about the grades. !
I am not to suprized about my hisotry grade, they are always b's! !
I can not complain about my report card! YAY

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will write more later

*Scripute for today* ( i think i will put up a scripture with my journal*
According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:15-18


Update for Monday 14 ?

drew me a really sweet Christmas picture of Kikyo! I was so suprized! I always feel really honerd when people draw things for me. THank you so much hon you have brightened my day! [link]


Okay so now i am on winter break. In a way it is good beacuse i get to rest up from last semster. Last semester was insane! Chinese was very hard and i had to study a couple hours a night. My final was awful beacuse i did not sleep all night the night before. The teacher did say that i did well in the class, but i wont know untill next week when grades a realesed.
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On the other hand im now at my parents for the break (which is fine they are nice) but they have dial up. So no DA takes forever to load! uNgh! Its so frustarating beacuse it takes like 2 minuts to load a page! I cant watch any anime online either!!!!!!!!! And i had just started watching Inuyasha the final act online the last 2 weeks of school I cried when Kikyo died for the last time! It was so sad i cried for like 10 minutes. I was happy that her soul at least got saved in the end. But it was so sad especailly the fact that they were playing "dearest" orchestrated during her death scence!
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I also am still sick with bronchitus! I wish it would go away already. I have had it for a week and a half! My friend Rachel stopped by and gave me a present today. That really helped me feel better so thank you hon!
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unnnnngghhh my mind is blank sorry guess thats all for now

ICK the first thing i would like to say is that im sorry for not calling my friend Loki today. I have bronchitus really bad right now ( i dont know why im even on the computer noW)
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Okay so yesterday was our last day of regular university for the semester. All i have to do is two finals. Its pretty nerver racking to think about doing the Chinese one though beacuse its going to be an all spoken final, going over everything we learned this semster. Im pretty scared of that one.
My other final is going to be Russian HIstory. Hopefully that wont be as hard.
URRGH! speaking of history majors here : i was insulted by a couple of proffessers that told me history is a dumb thing to go into. They told me i would never find a job in it. SO i went to school all these years for NOTHING! I hope not!
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I have freaking Bronchitus. It really sucks i have been coughing alot and have a sore throat. The worst part is the chills that go along with it. I went to my doctor today and she gave me a swine flu test. I wanted to have it beacuse my chinese teacher had it a few weeks ago. I watched the doctor do the test. THe steps she took to do the test were : to put i mini swab thing up my nose that scraped out skin cells. It looked like a tiny toliet brush wire thingy. Then she mixed the skin with some liquid and put it on a strip thing that shows a line to what sickness you have. I did not have any flu, so that was good. It was bronchitus.
ICK.
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After the doctors i decided to ask my dad to take me to CHinatown in cleveland. I bought some stuff for my family for Christmas. I shouldnt have gone out though. It was freezing in Cleveland right on Lake Erie. Unggh i think im feeling the after effects of my little adventure! Oh well it will be worth it to have gifts for my family.
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:iconeviljevil: needs to call me!! we talked along time in the game room at my school. He is really nice and im sick of the stupid people at my school who are mean to him for no reason at all. ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
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ummm i guess thats all i can think of! I am feeling pretty sick right now!